"The giver is our parents; we are the continuation of our parents and our ancestors. The gift is our body itself. The one who receives the gift is us. As we continue to meditate on this, we see clearly that the giver, the gift, and the receiver are one. All three present in our body. When we are deeply in touch with the present moment, we can see that our ancestors and all future generations are present in us. Seeing this, we will know what to do and what not to do-for ourselves, our ancestors, our children and their children" -Nhat Hahn in Peace is Every Step.
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Anger. Jealously. Hatred. Contempt. Greed. I have it all in my heart and as I move through my 21 day spiritual diet I seem to become more and more aware of it. I have had days when I wake up irate. Possessed by anger I express it when my husband doesn't fold the sheets, leaves a wet towel on the bed, or rushes me on his way to work. On irate days I am unpleasant with my parents who call me in the morning to wish me a good day. I am upset by the traffic, by the maid, by work and finally by myself for being irate. As the day gradually moves by I can 'suck it up' but I am never fully recovered from mornings like these. I find myself on a loop of regret and guilt for having been rude to myself and people around me.
Shining the light of mindfulness on my everyday life has led me to become aware of the seed of my anger, when it begins to form. While I sit with my destructive emotions and look at them, a new understanding dawns on me.Nhat Hahn in his book asks us not to push our emotions away but sit with them and breathe "Breathing in, I know that anger is in me, Breathing out, I know that I am my anger" breathe instead of being consumed by thoughts about what another person did to anger us.
Nhat Hanh ask us if we would scream at the lettuce for not growing well? No! If you have planted the lettuce and it doesn't seem to grow well you will look into the reasons for why it isn't growing well rather than yell at the lettuce or blame yourself or someone else for it. Once you understand the reason you will nourish it in a way that will make it grow well. Thus are humans. If you find that you are angry at someone, sit, breathe and ask yourself why that is so. When you shine this kind of mindfulness on yourself and others, real understanding takes place.
In an emphatic statement Nhat Hanh says "no blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding, if you understand, and show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change". While it feels like a tall order, I start with myself. All of psychology tells you that when you are angry you should breathe, count from 10 to 1 but I have found that this does very little. What has helped instead is this practice of everyday mindfulness even when you are not overwhelmed by negative emotions. Breathing in I calm my body, breathing out I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment!" . Practicing mindfulness through yoga, meditation and pranayam helps me catch my negative emotions the moment it shows up . Practicing mindfulness will place positive seeds on an everyday basis which will then act as antibodies, taking care of negative emotions when they seize us.
Nhat Hahn says, if we can see the entire humanity in a grain of rice, if we can see our mother in the palm of our hand, when we are one with our parents, our ancestors and our children in a way that is expressed in the first quote, we are open to knowing that there is a reason behind every destructive emotion and when we can sit with this insight utmost compassion is what flows forth.
