Yesterday, I was having a conversation with my mother that really got me thinking about our habitual patterns, especially the one in which we allow the fear of "what might happen" to ruin our present. It reminded me of a time when I used to literally invite the negative in my life.
When there is tranquility at home and work, when I am feeling one with my surroundings, relationships and myself...you know, you've had those times too; when the babies fall asleep and stay asleep for a good three hours allowing you to really sit with your work. When you are all creative and in tandem with your kids' needs for play, when you and your husband literally telepathically know what the other is thinking. When this seems to happen day in and out, you begin to suspect it. You begin to think why everything is going so seamlessly.
Well, I begin to suspect it. I think why my husband and I have not had a fight in days, I think about why the kids haven't gotten sick yet and how come I am feeling such oneness with my work. Instead of really living in the moment of joy and bliss I think about how things can go wrong. Then I go and materialize it (albeit subconsciously).
I pick on the words my husband uses. If he says the food I made is "ok" I look at it as if he's said "its awful". I begin to complain that he isn't happy with anything I do, I may also stretch it and bring back the past. I may start to feel sad about how he "never" likes anything I do. At work, I might look at what I do more critically and the voice of dissent starts to take a stronger hold. There is nothing more fatal to creativity than the voice of the inner critic. With the kids, I may become more uptight with they way I play with them. Instead of going with their flow I might begin to control everything they do. Leading to tug of wars and squabbles. There! I invited the negative. And I say to myself, obviously, peace (at home, with my life) never lasts.
What might another scenario be? Today, I still suspect all the goodness in my life, but I am also embracing of all the yuck that might come about. Fights with the husband, sick kids, awful days at work, all of it is my life. All of it requires my unconditional presence. I have begun to acknowledge that if I can be with my present moment, by dropping the expectations of what I'd like it to be, I am living a seamless life, every minute.
...and I don't have to fear about "what might come" because that is my life as well.
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This post was inspired by Catherine Just's prompt "Is it possible to be fearless". The post is part of the Summit Blog Tour, which leads up to the Soul*Full Summit hosted by Catherine Just. I’m thrilled to be a part of an event that empowers entrepreneurs, artists and creatives to take action toward their dreams while helping create more opportunities for people with Down syndrome. You can join the movement by signing up for the Summit HERE.
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When there is tranquility at home and work, when I am feeling one with my surroundings, relationships and myself...you know, you've had those times too; when the babies fall asleep and stay asleep for a good three hours allowing you to really sit with your work. When you are all creative and in tandem with your kids' needs for play, when you and your husband literally telepathically know what the other is thinking. When this seems to happen day in and out, you begin to suspect it. You begin to think why everything is going so seamlessly.
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| Being present for life as it unfolds |
I pick on the words my husband uses. If he says the food I made is "ok" I look at it as if he's said "its awful". I begin to complain that he isn't happy with anything I do, I may also stretch it and bring back the past. I may start to feel sad about how he "never" likes anything I do. At work, I might look at what I do more critically and the voice of dissent starts to take a stronger hold. There is nothing more fatal to creativity than the voice of the inner critic. With the kids, I may become more uptight with they way I play with them. Instead of going with their flow I might begin to control everything they do. Leading to tug of wars and squabbles. There! I invited the negative. And I say to myself, obviously, peace (at home, with my life) never lasts.
What might another scenario be? Today, I still suspect all the goodness in my life, but I am also embracing of all the yuck that might come about. Fights with the husband, sick kids, awful days at work, all of it is my life. All of it requires my unconditional presence. I have begun to acknowledge that if I can be with my present moment, by dropping the expectations of what I'd like it to be, I am living a seamless life, every minute.
...and I don't have to fear about "what might come" because that is my life as well.
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Yaa! Even after knowing that we create our own miseries because we are unable to believe that good times can last, we still end up doing it endlessly. So its best to just accept this moment and live with mindfulness and eventually we will reach there!
ReplyDeleteSo true babe.. whenever I get unexpected free time, I am always restless like I am forgetting something that needs to be done or somewhere I need to be!
ReplyDeleteI can't seem to stay in the moment and appreciate the unexpected leisure.
Lovely post A!
P: I know, its a constant push and pull for me too, a practice for a lifetime i suppose. Thanks so much for writing :-)
ReplyDeleteAppis: Thats what. <3
ReplyDelete