"Above all, do not lose hope" says Pi to himself in the movie, "Life of Pi" and this too in a situation where he is stranded in the middle of the pacific, left alone to his own devices, and a tiger. He is grateful for the tigers presence, cries when Richard Parker leaves him without a goodbye. Might we be like him with our scary parts, our anger, our impatience, our confusions and our fierceness even? Can we let the tigers within just be?
Not unruly but with discipline. Can we tame our needs, our unconscious loathing of ourselves, the tigers of our life that will eat us up if we let them. Can we tame them, discipline them and even come to love them as the keepers of our awareness? Just like Richard Parker helped Pi stay aware and fully awake, despite despairing life situations, can we be aware and alive amidst our mess and not let the perceived meannness, anger, cruelty, fear and hate arising within and without eat us up?
Pi traverses the pacific alone, with Richard Parker, the tiger. He fears him, he cries because of him, he even comes close to killing him. But then, something happens. He cannot kill Richard Parker. He is his only companion in this scary vast ocean that he is stranded in, without any comfort, without family, without friends. So, what then? Does he let the tiger eat him eventually? No, he respects the tigers fierceness, its nature and embraces him as friend. Taming him by feeding him, cleaning up after him and letting him live with him.
Our darkness, our scary parts, when welcomed to stay-as tamed and respected, become our companions, holding the torch of awareness in every situation we encounter. Eventually, when they leave we might even cry because they went away, just like that. No ceremony, no parting words, not even a goodbye.
I know, that title might mean that I was sitting on the moving treadmill (huh?) in cross-legged position and meditating. Impossible, and I wasn't doing that. I have however finally made sense of how to use my knowledge in yoga, meditation and running for my days on the treadmill. I have been told that runners intuitively know this but I have been running (on the treadmill) for over three years and what I would experience after running was complete exhaustion and listlessness.
So how does meditation, yoga and running come together? Here's how: What is Meditation?
Chogyam Trungpa in "Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior" gives precise and clear instructions on the sitting practice of meditation. There is no better way to convey that than to just quote him:
"The practice of meditation is very precise. it has to be on the dot, right on the dot. ...if you don't have a good posture your practice will be like a lame horse trying to pull a cart....So first you sit down and assume your posture, then you work with your breath; tshoo, go out (sic) [referring to the out breath], come back to your posture; tshoo. When thoughts arise, you label them "thinking" and come back to your posture, back to your breath" ....You are not working with your mind alone. You are working with your mind and your body, and when the two work together, you never leave reality" (p.25)
Chogyam Trungpa essentially points out that all you do in sitting meditation is focus on the out breath and the in-breath happens all by itself. So, focus on the out-breath, then bring awareness to your posture, then focus on the out-breath, then again, come back to your posture, then focus on your out-breath..and so on. When thoughts arise gently call out in your mind "thinking" and come back to the breath and the posture. Simple but not easy.
So now, what does yoga have to do with running, you ask?
Stiram-sukham asanam
Asana is steadiness and ease
-Yogasutra:Sadhana Pada
The first thing I learnt in my yoga training was that there are three platforms in the body: the feet, the pelvis and the shoulders. When you bring awareness to these three platforms of your body in your yoga practice as well as everyday, your posture improves, you can breathe far more easily and you can be at ease even in difficult situations.
Full disclosure: Posture is something that I constantly work at. I tend to have awful postures while I read, work on the computer and even while doing yoga, so for me this is a lesson I keep coming back to time and again as I am sure most of us must.
So what is the most precise and accurate stance for these three platforms? Below is a video instruction of a wonderful yoga instructor who gives instructions for Tadasana or the mountain pose. When I first learnt the number of muscles one can be aware of in just standing, I was SO amazed. Here is the video, notice the instruction she gives about how the three platforms must be aligned for a precise posture.
The same instruction goes for bringing awareness to your feet, pelvis and shoulders while you are doing almost anything. Running included.
What do I know about running?
I do not call myself a runner, there are experts at that I am sure. But I have been running regularly for three years now and I know that I have a love-hate relationship with it. What began as absolute hate turned into surprise that I could actually run, then determination to run and increase my stamina and then complete and absolute bewilderment at what to do with all the thoughts and boredom that I meet with when I run. For a while there I was also having awful body aches (because of not cooling down gently) and god awful exhaustion. I used to run every evening at one point and would come back home and just drop dead on my bean bag never to get up till it was time to go to bed.
My dad would tell me how mindless this activity of running on the treadmill was and would gently veer me towards walking around the park with him. While I like that way better than the treadmill, I have always ome back to it wondering how to make my half hour on the treadmill more mindful. So here's what I have figured.
Meditation + Yoga + Running : How they all come together
So putting two and two together you get meditation on the treadmill. Today I went on the machine and started off, with awareness of my out-breath, then awareness of my feet, then my out-breath, awareness and gentle correction of my slumping shoulders; out-breath, feet; out-breath, body; out-breath, posture...thought, out-breath, posture; thought, thought, thought, lost in thought, out-breath, correcting posture; out-breath...and so on for thirty minutes. Basically, I allowed myself the freedom to focus on my out-breath and while the in-breath happened all by itself, I focused on my posture in a neat little loop for the thirty minutes that I was on the machine!
I was in the present moment, on the treadmill, with awareness of my being, what more could I ask for? It was a calming, energizing and rejuvenating run! (of course, it is not that this is the result of meditation or running every time you do either, but that's what this run did for me) I have not had that happen many times in these three years running.
This is icing on the cake for me, I found this cool video on HH Dalai Lama meditating on the treadmill! Enjoy!
I love meditating on the treadmill. What about you? do you incorporate a certain method to enhance your running, yoga or meditation? I would love to hear!
I thought up of several beginning sentences for this post, like, ...so says a Hindu Brahmin, upper-middle class, urban woman; or perhaps, so says a blind bat, or maybe, so says the conveniently-affluent-driving-in-her-a/c-car-with-a-devil-may-care-attitude- woman, well you get the drift. I don't actually think casteism doesn't exist in today's world.
I must however confess, there was a time in my life when I thought casteism was shelved to times before 1947, until of course I got married eight years ago to the love of my life who happens to be a non-Brahmin BC boy. While post-wedding rituals were a shock in itself, I had also become acutely aware of how different "they"-my in-law's were from "my" family-they ate tons of garlic, they were (and still are) non-vegetarians, they killed a goat for sacrifice after the wedding, they grouped (and still do) into women folk and men folk at all gatherings- the list goes on, and it didn't help that my family accentuated this difference by constantly talking about it "oh my God, its impossible to step in to their house, it STINKS of garlic!",etc. With that, I was introduced to how much of a Brahmin I really was -"you got married to a sudra payyan (boy, in tamil) Aarathi!" I would hear myself exclaim. Hence, like an onion (which Brahmins shouldn't eat mind you) peeled the notion of "everyone is equal", and I became very aware of the presence of casteism, and class-ism so much so that I did not want to be a Brahmin anymore. Hindu? what Hindu? I am spiritual. Not religious I would say.
And what's more, the Hindutva waves that often flood Indian politics made me uncomfortable confessing I was born Brahmin. I would completely resist any attempts made by my mum to get me to pray, or participate in rituals or functions. In fact, I was such a frowny b*#ch (i'll bet, that's what my mom was thinking) when our sects' "Pope" equivalent graced my grandma's home. I would not stand beside him to take a picture and I prostrated at his feet like it was a punishment! ah! the good old times. So again, my reasoning was, I am spiritual and not religious, so leave me alone.
And then it all started to fall into place- my understanding of my privilege and my disadvantage. It happened in a class I was taking called Race Lab, as a part of my counselor training in the US. In this class, we began to explore each of our various identities. I learnt that my identity can be grouped into-gender, class, race, caste, sexual orientation, religious/spiritual orientation and more. As I began to explore each of these identities I began to see how much of a feminist I was. I also began to realize that as a upper-middle class brahmin woman I had a lot of privileges in this society-privilege of education, opportunity, etc. and at the same time I am discriminated against for being a woman- the clothes I wear, the behavior I display, etc. But what I also realized was how I was running away from embracing my spirituality/religion because of what it meant to be a Hindu brahmin in the society. Thanks to Race Lab, I slowly began to thaw at it to find my divinity within the same oppressive religion Hinduism can be.
I write about it all now because of this wonderful book I just read, called "A Gardener in the Wasteland: Jotiba Phule's Fight for Liberty" by Srividya Natarajan and Aparajita Ninan. It is a graphic novel that I totally wanted to get my hands on when I read about it in The Hindu. Though I found the book four years after I began my quest to find likeminded books and work in the area of casteism, I found it to be brilliant, thought provoking and eye-opening at many levels.
First of all its a graphic book that beautifully outlines a historical work, that itself gives it all the brownie points. But the best part of the book is that it gives you an interesting perspective on Hinduism, the Brahminical scriptures and religious texts. It does so with a dialogue between the two writers of the book and it also does it through the voice of Savitri Phule, the child bride of Jotirao Govindrao Phule. The book essentially outlines the work of the latter in "abolishing slavery of India's 'lower' castes" and pulls details from his book Gulamgiri (Slavery) written in 1873.
What can I say, I loved every bit of this book. Natarajan divides the book into chapters called: The Wasteland of Caste, the Weed-Bed of Myth, the Roots of Tyranny and the Seeds of Education. Both Natarajan and Ninan then go on the break Hindu Myths and the role of Brahmin's during the British rule to continue the suppression of lower castes and women-all this borrowed from Phule's work and narrated through the voice of Savitri Phule, who played a major role in educating both boys and girls of sudra's and atisudra's in the 1800's. The book is very relevant in today's society and the authors go on to glisten that fact. They talk about the Babri Masjid, Gujarat Riots and the Quota politics to show how caste system and oppression from it exists even today.
Excerpts from the Novel
You cannot just read a bit and close the book and run off and do errands, well what I mean is that, its a gripping read and you will want to read it again once you are done. Some parts are shocking and hilarious too. Like the one about Brahma menstruating from several orifices given the four castes were born out of four different parts of his body.
It reminded me how after reading about the caste system in my history class when I was in 6th grade, we asked everyone what each of their caste was, I dont think anyone admitted to being lower than a Kshatrya then.
Phule wondering about Brahma's four days a month issue.
While I do consider myself open to new perspectives, some parts of the book really did take me by surprise. Like the Hindu mythology of Dusavatara, desconstructed by Phule gives you his perspective of how Aryans under the guise of Dusavatara essentially invaded India and destroyed indigenous rulers and kingdoms like that of Mahabali or how what happened in Narendra Modi's Gujrat was essentially "Parashuram, updated for the 21st century, Hinduta-style". The authors also go on to point of what I took for granted so many years. Take for instance what Natrajan says about our good old Amarchitra Katha series, ' remember how the women were always impossibly curvy?' and "the good guys were always fair and the baddies, the rakshasas were always dung-green?"Ninan wonders.
The book is a lesson in staying open to a variety of perspectives-even to something one group considers sacred, like scriptures, that "myths are interpreted differently in different communities" and that "history, like myth, changes depending on who writes it and who reads it". Most of all however, it has made me aware of how important it is to gather these perspectives and educate ourselves and our children in staying open, and being aware of our identities and how it came to be. It is also a wonderful lesson in not setting rigid boundaries to our identities and what defines us. If you haven't already read the book, go get it. It's available on flipkart.com at just Rs.200! And when you are done, let me know what you think.
