My heart skips a beat. It’ll be a whole year, on the 4th of June 2010, since I came back from a three year long life in New York. I am a restless spirit, often finding new things that interests me, that keeps me alive, that moves me and that teaches me a thing or more about life and myself. I do tons to quench the restlessness and I enjoy it all in its bits, pieces and whole. And I reckon I have moments when my throat gets parched again. Not to do more but to steer in a direction that is once again mine. I feel this parched throat now; this feeling that I may be steering in a direction that is not mine. Not running away/ahead and instead looking back helps. And this is my attempt. Here’s 30 things I’ve learnt in this year (and possibly will keep relearning)-with work, family and life:
1. Love your work because satisfaction can take you a long way, and when you decide you need to get paid a lot more someone will recognize it and possibly pay for it.
2. Don’t take anybody for face value-it’s a good thing.
3. The brain stores transitory images for a few seconds-iconic memory, which is why everything appears as a continuum.
4. Everyone is vulnerable.
5. Children are wonderful! Even the rascals. They love metaphors as much as I do!
6. Anecdote: Watch your breath without changing it in anyway. Don’t change it, just watch it. Impossible right? The mere effort of watching your breath changes the quality of it. Similar are our emotions. Just acknowledging it changes it (Diana- during her classes).
7. Dysfunction rests in relationships- thank you Monica McGoldrick.
8. Boundaries and limits to what you can and cannot do; what others can and cannot do in a relationship with you, makes life easy.
9. Multitasking is one heck of a skill. Hone it really well.
10. Have a bible for your profession? Learn it well. One of mine is the DSM IV TR.
11. Find a sounding board-a friend, colleague and/or supervisor who will be there for you when the going gets really sticky and otherwise too.
12. Keep generating ideas for the future, write it down somewhere, share it with someone and get working on it while you stay focused on what you are already doing-ah, multitasking yea? Yes, but also is a way to nurture your creativity, motivation and enthusiasm for life and work.
13. Focus on your marriage, part I, just because you are married to the love of your life doesn’t mean everything will work out, you have to work with it/in it, to work it out.
14. Focus on your marriage, part II, if you don’t then you’ll have a tantrum throwing husband who will set you straight.
15. Stay in touch with your family, go visit them, get pampered, rejuvenated and ready to come back to life. Like my father says, automobiles go back to their original showroom service station to get serviced to be as good as brand new for the next few months/years until it’s time for the next free servicing. Same are humans, so go back to your service stations once in a while to take a break/rejuvenate. ( Service station = Social support )
16. Give your husband a boys night out, at least the TV is all yours then.
17. Check in with yourself every once in a while. What’s going on? How are you feeling? What is the pattern with this fight and every other fight with your husband/mother/whoever? What is the reason for running forward/ahead of yourself? What would your therapist say? What is another perspective to this situation? Do you really like cricket or are you just pretending to like the T20 series for your husband’s sake, if yes, how long can you tolerate watching it?
18. If you and your husband are alike, chances are you won’t know what to do for fun on weekends and will end up, for many weekends, just hanging out at home lazing or going on a drive to see how the construction of your new home is coming. That’s fun! But better pray things will change as you age together. So yes, this is perhaps part III of focus on your marriage. Be creative and explore new things together!
19. It’s awesome to wake up to mornings when you get good morning kisses from your husband.
20. Backpacks are awesome to carry to work (not the best style statement, but whatever). At least it’s just one bag as opposed to a hand bag, a laptop bag, a gym bag and sometimes a lunch box and water-wait, I knew this in grad school too. Well, haven’t you heard, you keep making a mistake till you learn something out of it.
21. Where you live on the outside doesn’t matter as much as where you live on the inside. Yet, I can’t wait to start living in our brand new home!
22. I am a cheerleader for cupid. Love is so magical!
23. Advertising over the internet rocks for your (my) business, but consistent outreach and marketing takes you a long way. Time to implement now.
24. Iphone has changed the quality of my telephone life.
25. Traffic in India has a life of its own, keeping your life on your sleeve and driving is contrary to Indian traffic rules. You’ve got to brave up before you face the music that is Indian roads.
26. Stay in touch with the good friends you made everywhere- make plans to visit them, have them visit you, talk to them every once in a while- what do you think skype, gchat, and all is for!
27. Gradually expand the quality of your life-with work and otherwise.
28. Slow down enough to appreciate another’s perspective once in a while.
29. Stay interested in looking good!
30. Be ok with those down days (at least in retrospect)-everyone has them, and everyone needs one.
1. Love your work because satisfaction can take you a long way, and when you decide you need to get paid a lot more someone will recognize it and possibly pay for it.
2. Don’t take anybody for face value-it’s a good thing.
3. The brain stores transitory images for a few seconds-iconic memory, which is why everything appears as a continuum.
4. Everyone is vulnerable.
5. Children are wonderful! Even the rascals. They love metaphors as much as I do!
6. Anecdote: Watch your breath without changing it in anyway. Don’t change it, just watch it. Impossible right? The mere effort of watching your breath changes the quality of it. Similar are our emotions. Just acknowledging it changes it (Diana- during her classes).
7. Dysfunction rests in relationships- thank you Monica McGoldrick.
8. Boundaries and limits to what you can and cannot do; what others can and cannot do in a relationship with you, makes life easy.
9. Multitasking is one heck of a skill. Hone it really well.
10. Have a bible for your profession? Learn it well. One of mine is the DSM IV TR.
11. Find a sounding board-a friend, colleague and/or supervisor who will be there for you when the going gets really sticky and otherwise too.
12. Keep generating ideas for the future, write it down somewhere, share it with someone and get working on it while you stay focused on what you are already doing-ah, multitasking yea? Yes, but also is a way to nurture your creativity, motivation and enthusiasm for life and work.
13. Focus on your marriage, part I, just because you are married to the love of your life doesn’t mean everything will work out, you have to work with it/in it, to work it out.
14. Focus on your marriage, part II, if you don’t then you’ll have a tantrum throwing husband who will set you straight.
15. Stay in touch with your family, go visit them, get pampered, rejuvenated and ready to come back to life. Like my father says, automobiles go back to their original showroom service station to get serviced to be as good as brand new for the next few months/years until it’s time for the next free servicing. Same are humans, so go back to your service stations once in a while to take a break/rejuvenate. ( Service station = Social support )
16. Give your husband a boys night out, at least the TV is all yours then.
17. Check in with yourself every once in a while. What’s going on? How are you feeling? What is the pattern with this fight and every other fight with your husband/mother/whoever? What is the reason for running forward/ahead of yourself? What would your therapist say? What is another perspective to this situation? Do you really like cricket or are you just pretending to like the T20 series for your husband’s sake, if yes, how long can you tolerate watching it?
18. If you and your husband are alike, chances are you won’t know what to do for fun on weekends and will end up, for many weekends, just hanging out at home lazing or going on a drive to see how the construction of your new home is coming. That’s fun! But better pray things will change as you age together. So yes, this is perhaps part III of focus on your marriage. Be creative and explore new things together!
19. It’s awesome to wake up to mornings when you get good morning kisses from your husband.
20. Backpacks are awesome to carry to work (not the best style statement, but whatever). At least it’s just one bag as opposed to a hand bag, a laptop bag, a gym bag and sometimes a lunch box and water-wait, I knew this in grad school too. Well, haven’t you heard, you keep making a mistake till you learn something out of it.
21. Where you live on the outside doesn’t matter as much as where you live on the inside. Yet, I can’t wait to start living in our brand new home!
22. I am a cheerleader for cupid. Love is so magical!
23. Advertising over the internet rocks for your (my) business, but consistent outreach and marketing takes you a long way. Time to implement now.
24. Iphone has changed the quality of my telephone life.
25. Traffic in India has a life of its own, keeping your life on your sleeve and driving is contrary to Indian traffic rules. You’ve got to brave up before you face the music that is Indian roads.
26. Stay in touch with the good friends you made everywhere- make plans to visit them, have them visit you, talk to them every once in a while- what do you think skype, gchat, and all is for!
27. Gradually expand the quality of your life-with work and otherwise.
28. Slow down enough to appreciate another’s perspective once in a while.
29. Stay interested in looking good!
30. Be ok with those down days (at least in retrospect)-everyone has them, and everyone needs one.
OMG!! absolutely love it!! :*:*:*:*
ReplyDeleteadd- Write articles so that more people can read them and you can get paid- coz you're awesome at it :)
ReplyDeletethis is too awesome re baby!!! so coooooool and neat :) you gonna surely become an author / novelist one day too soon!. love u :*
ReplyDeleteu are just amazing i see u slowly moving towards fetching all awards for all ur works love u honey
ReplyDeleteThanks Nitu! :*
ReplyDeleteThanks Di, I would love to be paid for writing what i love!
Amma & Appa: :* u are too cute ok!
Awesome babe!
ReplyDeleteI vote for you writing articles and sharing with a wider audience!
Well written babe!! You so efficiently listed out the steps to making life simpler.
You speak the language of that touches every individual... Your Dad is right about you surely becoming an author.
ReplyDeleteI not only enjoyed reading it, I was making mental notes while reading... YOU are a GIVER Aarthi :) and So many people are going to be BETTER Because of you :)
Thanks M! Knew you would connect to it:)
ReplyDeleteThanks P! You are awesome as always
Vishnu! Thats the sweetest thing to say! I was more than an enjoyable read for you :-)